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Summer Strategies: Caring for Kids, Home, and Yourself

Summer Strategies Podcast Episode 42: The Women's Mental Health Podcast

Summer Strategies Podcast Episode 42: The Women's Mental Health Podcast

Are you ready for summer? With the break from school comes both excitement and the anxiety of keeping our children entertained while managing work, family, and our mental health. In this heartfelt conversation, Randy and Jess, both therapists and moms, share their insights and strategies to help you navigate the challenges of this seasonal transition.

From the financial stress of day camps and summer camps to the shift in mental health that comes with unstructured time, we discuss it all. Learn how to set up routines and stimulating activities for your kids, while also organizing your home to prevent early starts and late-night chaos. Plus, we share our experiences balancing work from home, childcare, and maintaining our own mental well-being.

But what about self-care? We dive into the importance of finding time for ourselves, even if it's as simple as a brunch with friends or a night away, and how the support of family and friends can make a difference. Discover how to carve out time with your partner, even when caring for a neurodivergent child, and the value of setting boundaries for children to foster balance and fun. Join us, and let's survive this summer together!


Randi: 0:14

Welcome to the podcast unapologetically all over the place with Randy and Jess,two licensed psychotherapists where we talk about mental health,wellbeing,and strategies for coping with life's up and down challenges.We're here to tell you that it's all normal.Jess: 0:29

Yes,we are.In today's episode,we're gonna share our insights and strategies as therapists,women and moms as summer approaches and routines.Go out the window.Randi: 0:39

Woo.You're giving meJess: 0:41

I know,right?Randi: 0:41

saying that.Jess: 0:43

Learn how to survive summer with us.Randi: 0:45

Yeah.So we're gonna dive into the challenges of keeping your children and teenagers entertained and engaged during the summer months,and also while you're trying to balance work,family responsibilities,and most of all are mental health and sanity.Jess: 1:01

Oh,and our kids'mental health too.Yeah.We wanna do that.So have you ever thought,Randi: 1:06

why am I excited and anxious about the school year ending?I literally just said this.Jess: 1:13

right?Why?What am I going to do with my kids this summer?Randi: 1:17

How am I going to work and manage my kids?Online gaming,iPad,whatever,Jess: 1:24

during YouTube.Randi: 1:25

Like I don't want it to be a babysitter,but I do want it to be a babysitter.But like,how am I gonna manage this so I don't mess up my kid?Jess: 1:32

Why do day camps and summer camps end at like age10?Seriously? Summer StrategiesRandi: 1:37

And why are they so expensive for all day away camp,half a day,whatever it is.I even noticed,like I was signing up my son for the local,like resident like day camp.And it,it's even gone up like I think in the last two years,like double what it was.And I was like,what?Like it's only like a couple hours a day,like two hours a day for four days during the week.And I was like,okay,I just need to get back to work to pay for,summer camp.Jess: 2:03

And then you're like,why is it only half a day?I gotta work all day.Right?Why is it half a day?Randi: 2:07

That's the part where I'm like,do I even send him?Because how am I supposed to stop in the middle of my work day and go get him?And it's then I need to pay like a nanny or like somebody else to pick him up.And then that's even like more expensive,Jess: 2:20

Here's the other one.What the hell did my mom do with me during summer?Randi: 2:23

I was like,I think I just drank out of a hose in the backyard and like I was on my own.No.Jess: 2:28

I think I watched,cartoons or soap operas or something.I have no idea.Randi: 2:33

I was talking about watching soap operas with my grandma the other day.Jess: 2:36

day,Randi: 2:38

Probably were on my messed up ideas and relationships came fromJess: 2:41

Guiding lighter as the worldRandi: 2:43

Yeah.Yeah.So what is this summer shift or this summer transition from school to summer?What exactly is it?Jess: 2:52

So I have seen this come up for the last couple of weeks here,right?Not just in our home,in other homes where the kids are burnt out,school's almost out.We have another couple of days before school is done.Randi: 3:04

Yeah.Jess: 3:05

We finally got summer here and it's like all of the weather.Yeah.Randi: 3:09

up.You wanna be outside.Yeah.Jess: 3:12

And this,there's this like excitement oh,thank God we're done with our,routines.And then there's this freak out because there's this unstructured and super flexible summer break thing happening.And it just really messes up the entire house,right?And This transition can be a total challenge for not just kids,but us as caregivers,as workers as,I don't even know how to say it has come up so many times that people are like,I guess we're not gonna have sex now because the kids are home all summer.Because you're like,oh,we got two more Fridays.Randi: 3:54

yeah.Yeah.So it's like your whole routine changes,and that can be really hard on your mental health.Jess: 4:02

And your kids'mental health.Because they don't see the kids,they don't see their friends that they've seen all summer.They don't have the structure.Randi: 4:10

And a lot of us especially us who are like ADHD and stuff,like we rely on structure and when we don't have it and we're left to our own devices,we can get squirrely out there and have,make bad decisions and impulse control.And that can happen with like kids too.Like they get bored and they're just like,oh,I'm just gonna.Try to dye my hair,or dye the dog like purple or,Jess: 4:32

Or like your son did cut hisRandi: 4:35

right?Yeah.Or color on the wall or something,and it's I swear I just turned my head for a second.But also like the challenges too,of a lot of us work from home,so it's like having our kids home and being that role of a,provider,a full-time worker,and a full-time parent.And we don't get a break,from that during the summer.Jess: 4:57

No,because they find you,I don't know what it is.Like I have even gone and stretched in the closet.Like I'm just gonna go lay and do some stretching in the closet because I need a break.And they're all still Hey,what are you doing?Yeah,I'm hiding in my closet.Randi: 5:10

Yeah,I'm trying to be away from you.And it's like my office doors.I have two glass French doors so they can see me.And I actually used to have my desk face the opposite way so they could just walk in like behind me and I switched my desk to face the doors so I could be like,Stop,like pause.Don't come in.Like even my teenager too,like she's the worst.She wants to come in and have a full conversation,like right in the middle of whatever I'm doing and like it doesn't matter what I'm doing and I'm just like,okay,let's learn to knock on mom's office door.Jess: 5:43

I don't know how you have glass doors.I would've put some curtains.I would've put that Elmer's glue trick going around on TikTok right now,Randi: 5:50

Oh my gosh.I haven'tJess: 5:51

Oh,you haven't seen it?Oh,we're have to do that to your office door,right?You can just frost him with Oh,frost him Elmer's glue and do designs on'em.OhRandi: 5:58

yeah.No,Jess: 5:59

I couldn't do,Randi: 6:00

happening.But you can buy that stuff on Amazon,but,yeah.So how does this impact our kids?Jess: 6:05

So the disruptions to the routines is the big one,right?These are,there are abrupt changes.And it just leads our kids to feeling disoriented a lot of times and anxious,right?And we would think,why would they be anxious,right?But it's this absence of con,a consistent schedule.It doesn't give them a sense of stability.Think about it,some of these kids,they.Eat.Not,they eat at school.Yeah.Before the government ended the free lunches for everybody.I know.Randi: 6:31

know.So annoying.Jess: 6:33

anyway,but some of these kids,they go to school and that's where they get theirRandi: 6:37

So for some kids it can cause like food insecurity.Yeah.Or the,it's taken away their safe space too.If that'sJess: 6:44

that's safeRandi: 6:45

safe space,like if they have a traumatic home life.But just in every day too,like regular kids it's hard to make like a huge transition.And like my son is on the autism spectrum and he has a super hard time withJess: 6:57

Yes.LikeRandi: 6:58

Like any type of change in his schedule,like he has a very rigid like thinking pattern and so it's always like a huge shift for us.So that's why I'm very anxious about this.Like I can try to prep and pre prepare and.Do as much as I can,but it's always ooh,like a little dicey,like the worst,like couple of weeks.Jess: 7:16

And then it also with mine,right?She has this idea that school is ending.So are the routines at home,Randi: 7:22

home,right?So it's like a free forJess: 7:24

Yeah.We're not gonna shower anymore and we're not gonna do dishes and we're not gonna clean up after no.No.Okay.So what are some of the,we are just talking about challenges.What are some additional challenges and why do these kids freak out?Randi: 7:37

So boredom,like we talked about,maybe social iso isolation if they're not seeing their friends as much.Lack of stimulation,like education wise too.Like they're not reading as much,they're not engaging in math,they're not engaging like in their core functions too,like their handwriting,their hand eye movement and things like that.Jess: 7:56

Yeah.When we used to own the tutoring center it,we would call it the summer slide.Randi: 8:00

Yeah.Jess: 8:01

And these kids would lose so much during the summer because they sat and just watched YouTube,videos all day long.Randi: 8:08

Yeah.And this in this contributes to feeling of loneliness in kids.And that affects their,overall wellbeing if they feel lost,Jess: 8:18

And it's so interesting,in the last state we lived in,kids wouldn't go play here.You see these little kids,right?Like just playing by themselves and you're like,we're the parents right?What'sRandi: 8:29

What's going on?Jess: 8:30

are the parents?And people are like yeah.Just go play.And it's such an interesting thing to see state by state and city by city.How we look at kids playing,right?Like we have that busy road down the way that is considered a.55and up and there's kids that jump off the bridge into the river,right?And we're like,is that safe?Randi: 8:50

What's happening?It's very interesting too there's a lot of those like TikTok videos too,that are like in Asian culture,young kids take themselves to school.Like they ride the bus,like they go and do like chores,like on,they go down to the store and get stuff for dinner,like they cook and people are like,what's wrong?Or people talk about their experience of going to live over there and s.Seeing children and they get all anxious and worried until they start realizing like that's normal for their culture over there.Jess: 9:16

I love that one video of the Asian,there's two little boys.One's really tiny,one looks like he's four,and he's like cooking with oil and he's frying like eggs and stuff.Randi: 9:26

freaking out,right?Like everybody in the US is what?And it's,I,Jess: 9:30

gotta burn himself.Yeah.Randi: 9:31

I think like a lot of the times we like overcompensate for our kids and baby them,like in our culture in a way.And that can hold them back from learning responsibilities.And I don't wanna say we need to push all this responsibility on them,but giving them more responsibility,giving them age appropriate chores.Yeah,and things and tasks can be like so beneficial.I find like my son will be like,I can't do this.I can't do this.But then when I'm like,Hey,do this,hey do this.Hey,show me you can do this.He like gets so excited and I'm like,follow me around,like helping me around the house also because I'm spending time like engaging with him,and so I think it's important to maybe give our kids a little bit more freedom and a little bit more responsibility at the same time during summer.And that might help us in a way.Jess: 10:16

Yeah,maybe,if you see my kid in the backyard cooking,Randi: 10:18

with some hotJess: 10:19

With some hot oil,Randi: 10:20

It's cool.Jess: 10:21

It's cool.It's cool.Yeah.Okay.Randi: 10:23

But all of this can also heighten like stress and anxiety in kids,right?With the transition.Then certainty,adapting to a new routine.Adapting to a new schedule.And same here too,like where we live in our state.It stays a light out until11:00PM at night.At,Jess: 10:38

At night,Randi: 10:39

Yeah,at night.So it's so hard to get a good routine going during the summer because it's like,it's light outside and I even lose sense of time because of that and so does my kid.And he's it's light outside.I don't need to go to bed.And I'm like,it's9:00PMJess: 10:53

our first year here we were out,it was still like May or something.And our first year here,we were out in the front yard playing soccer at10o'clock at night,screaming and yelling.And then I realized,It's10o'clock at night,right?Oh crap.Yeah.Everybody else is sleeping.Go run in the house quick.It wasn't us being jerks.Randi: 11:13

So how does this transition from school to summer impact caregivers and parents and grandparents and things like that?Jess: 11:20

It,it is the,I mean it's the impact,right?It's this adjusting responsibilities.It is trying to figure out,how do you get the kids ready before your eight o'clock meeting?If you are leaving for work,what are they doing?It is trying to balance all of this,and we've talked about it in our can keeping series,right?This mental load that us as moms that we are trying to navigate them.It's stupid things like,controlling the freaking wifiRandi: 11:50

right?Or finding extra daycare or childcare,or setting up summer camps.I was just thinking that the other day,like,why am I the only one signing him up for summer camps?Why is my,partner not doing research on this?Like,why?And I was like,here.Help me find stuff,Jess: 12:03

It's not help me.No.Yeah.Randi: 12:04

It was just like,here,do this.Jess: 12:07

But it is so much.Randi: 12:08

too.Like not asking for help.Yeah,Jess: 12:10

yeah,but it is also,it is,there's so much that we do as moms to make sure that this happens.And so it's hard when you have little ones,and then when you have older ones,you wanna make sure that they're not up till three in the morning or they're not,sleeping till noon.And so who's gonna take care of that?Randi: 12:27

Yeah,exactly.It's my daughter quit her job,she's a teenager,and I'm like now you need something else to do.She's like laying around the bed and I'm like,oh no,I don't think so.We're not gonna do this summer,but like all of this can really take an emotional toll on us as women,as caregivers,as parents,and cause burnout.And thatJess: 12:46

exhaustion.Yeah.ThatRandi: 12:48

affects our relationship with our kids.It affects our relationship with our partners,our friendships.Jess: 12:53

and then the whole mom guilt thing,which I think is complete crap.But we all gift this feelings of guilt or inadequacy or I don't know how these people take off and go camping all the weekends and how they can either A,afford all of that,right?And B,how can they take the time to go do that?Randi: 13:09

Yeah,Jess: 13:09

it's just so hard to try to reign in,and provide this stimulating activity,or even better is when you think it's gonna be a stimulating activity and they fucking hateRandi: 13:21

it.Oh God.Jess: 13:21

oh my God,I paidRandi: 13:24

last weekend.Oh yeah,Jess: 13:26

I did this amazing art thing.Randi: 13:27

It looked so cool.Jess: 13:29

I'm gonna take you nextRandi: 13:30

time.Yeah.She was like,no.Did she complain the whole time?That's what my kids like.Jess: 13:33

she sat there and looked like,I told her she had to go pick up the dog poop.It was torture.She hated it.It wasn't her thing.Randi: 13:42

Oh,okay.Jess: 13:42

And I'm like,yeah,I just paid almost$200for this really cool art experience of we were like hammering copper and enameling it with glass and putting it in a kiln.That'sRandi: 13:54

thanks.Yeah.And you're like,yeah.Jess: 13:57

I was like,you can go sit in the car and I'll just do yours and mine.Seriously.But so that's really frustrating because I took the time to do that.And I was like,what am I gonna do with you this summer then?What are we gonna do here?Okay.Okay.So,how do we support our mental health?And that's gonna be like some strategies for our mental health,our kids'mental health.Yes.And then we are gonna give some tips here guys,on what we do,cuz I've got some things IRandi: 14:24

Yeah.So strategies for supporting our mental health as parents and women is Start setting up a new routine,like creating a summer routine can provide your child and yourself,a good form of consistency.So like mealtime sleep schedules,daily activities.And that helps me too I like to stress plan and so I,if you saw like my itinerary I made for when we went on a family vacation,you'd understand.It doesn't mean you have to hold to it stringently,but for me,just.Outlining like the day.So I know that we have a plan in place,helps me if I feel if I'm spinning out of control or if I don't know what's going on that day.And then my kids too can look at the schedule.And if they're younger,I always suggest too,like making like a visual schedule and stuff too,so they can be like,okay,it's time for,cartoons or it's time for,snack.Or it's okay,now I can have,iPad time or whatever.Jess: 15:17

So in,in our la in our laundry room,in our pantry I have a big board where I have Monday through Friday.Yes.Weekend.And what I'll do is I'll,I will check in with my spouse and be like,okay,what's the plan?Are we doing this week?What do we wanna cook?Because we gotta put it on the board.It's alwaysRandi: 15:36

we forget.Jess: 15:37

or we forget.It's a rough idea.Okay.And who's cooking?That way.Okay,great.We put on who's cooking and we might put on,for the weekend if we have activities or something going on.Yeah.And I take that on and that's fine.But it helps my daughter go,okay,I'm hungry.Ooh,dad's gonna make you know,his meatloaf tonight,so I'm not gonna eat a bunch of crap.I want to eat that.Randi: 16:00

Okay.Yeah,that's great.Jess: 16:01

That helps her kind of figure out that.Yeah.The other thing we do is we,I call it buttoning up the house.Because it does stay light here till Yeah.11o'clock.We start after dinner,we kind,I close the blinds.Even though it's still light out.Yeah.I turn on my,SoftRandi: 16:20

Yeah.So creating that kind of darkened,quiet,dampened environment.Jess: 16:25

Yeah.And we just,it's signalingRandi: 16:27

that it's time to slow down and relax.Jess: 16:29

And and I call it button putting the house to bed.And that way they get the idea.Cuz it's so hard,even if you have blackout curtains to be like,Okay.Go to bed.Randi: 16:38

You need a time to unhook.Unwind.Same thing,like they say,like you're supposed to put down like your electronics,like an hourJess: 16:45

Yeah.Randi: 16:45

Yeah.Good luck with that.Okay.Jess: 16:47

Yeah,Randi: 16:47

but that,and what can also help with this is encouraging like physical activity too during the day,engaging your kids in outdoor activities.Social interactions like going to the park or things like that and hobbies to combat that boredom,that isolation and promoting positive mental health and like getting all that wiggle out and that thing.So when it is at the end of the day and like just said,like she's buttoning down the house,like your kids aren't like all of a sudden amped up because they haven't gotten their energyJess: 17:16

get the zoomies out and they're like running around the house.Randi: 17:19

I realized like I just need to walk my kid like10miles every day at Disneyland for him to sleep at night.Jess: 17:25

Yeah,no,no problem.You should just have him walk here and then we can just walk back.So I recently got one of those outdoor like hammocks.OhRandi: 17:34

Oh yeah.Jess: 17:35

Sorry.I also totally fell outRandi: 17:37

out.Jess: 17:37

and it was really hilarious.Stop Okay.So I was like,oh,maybe I should get another one.So we can both sit out there and read,because.Hang on.We got to pause that,Silas.Hold on.Randi: 17:55

Oh,is it the ac?Jess: 17:56

Yeah.I forgot to turn it off.Give it a No,really?You can turn off now.Randi: 18:12

Yeah.It's five to10minutes.Jess: 18:14

No.No,really.It usually just come on,turn off.Randi: 18:17

It's not today.Jess: 18:18

It is the loudest.This is the loudest room.It is.Give it a second.In a We're gonna have to redo my whatever thought processRandi: 18:31

I know.Lost the thought process.Holy crap.Jess: 18:47

Come on.Randi: 18:54

Oh,I actually have a summer schedule that I made as a printout.Like Probably like two summers ago for the group.We can useJess: 19:07

Okay.So with the hammock,I was gonna,I was gonna think maybe I should get another hammock and then we can sit outside andRandi: 19:13

Yeah.Jess: 19:13

Yeah.Because I could read and she can read and it's engagement.It's something different.Yeah.It's outdoors.It's getting some sunshine.Randi: 19:21

I did that too.I got some loungers for outside because I wanted to lay out in the sun,cuz we don't get enough vitamin D.And I forced the kids to go out there with me and at first they're like but like just laying out there in the sun and just like hanging out.And then they'll.Start like playing,and playing with the dogs and getting on the playground equipment and stuff.And it's so it works,like having that forced time outside,Jess: 19:41

we call that forced family fun in our house.It's forced family fun.Yeah.Like we have all of the gigantic,tic tac toes for the yard.We've got the huge jingga.We just need to actually move it out thereRandi: 19:53

Go outside and useJess: 19:54

use it.Yeah.AndRandi: 19:56

I think with that,like actually getting outside and setting down electronics and stepping out and changing like your scenery,like that also helps promoting communication with your kids.And that's so important,I feel,not only like specifically for summer,but all year long,and having this environment where your kids feel like you're engaged,you're listening to them.You're maybe pausing your day and they can talk to you about things that they're feeling or if they are feeling isolated or lonely or having anxiety or bored.And then Mimi,you can have that conversation and talk about ideas and maybe what they wanna do too.And I always do that too.I ask my kids like what do you wanna do for summer?What's your summer bucket list?And things like that.And maybe we can do,like a few of these.We'll do one for you and one for your sister and,and things like that.And that makes them feel included in the conversation.Jess: 20:44

That'd be so fun to write a summer bucket list and actually have a bucket and then every time you do it,put,put that little piece of paper in the bucket.That's cute.I like,yeah,that'd be really cute to actually be like,okay,maybe a jar,Randi: 20:57

Yeah,like a physical thing where you could see it though and implement it.IJess: 21:00

you're gonna actually do it.Cause if you're not,then it looks like it sucks and you gotta hide it,right?But if you're gonna do right?You're like,Ooh,I don't know what happened.That thing man.Okay,so let's now talk about how are we gonna give ourselves,take care of our own mental health,right?Yes.AsRandi: 21:14

As caregivers,self-care is so important,and we've talked about this time and time again,but it's very hard to implement it.Even Jess and I as therapists,have a hard time taking time for ourselves and implementing self-care because we do take on those rules as can keepers and the mom guilt and things like that,and we need to shake it off.And encourage ourselves and our friends to take care of our wellbeing through our own activities that we enjoy doing.Like making time if it's,if it's a brunch with your girlfriends,or if it's just reading a book in a hammock,or if it's taking a night away,and staying in a hotel down the road,whatever that looks like,and having support.Around you too from whether that's your friend,your sister,your brother,your family,whoever that is,but that they are also checking in with you too during the summer.And I think that's an important too,for us to say to our partners,we need to be checking in with each other during the summer and making sure we're both.Taking care of these children that are ours togetherJess: 22:18

as well as taking care of our relationship.Yes.Because it,I was joking earlier,but it really has come up several times this week that I have so many parents that are like,great,now we're not gonna have sex for three months because a,I'm too tired at night.And we always,when the kids go to school,but they ain't going to school.And so it's one of those taking care of each other.Yeah.To make sure that.Are we getting a date time?Because my husband and I,we do date times on a Friday morning.We'll take off and go at breakfast.Yeah.Or go see a movie.We'll do something that's just us.Couple times a month.We've done that since she was little.Randi: 22:53

right?So it's like during the summer,it's what are you gonna do?Do you need a babysitter?Do you go over to a friend's are they going to grandma's?What's happening?So you can still get that time in.Jess: 23:02

We send her across the street to her friends and then we're like,All right,let's go.Randi: 23:07

This is all the time we got.Let's get it.Jess: 23:09

And I think they do the same thing.They're like,Hey,why don't you come over here and we just swap kids or something without actually saying because you don't get time with your spouse.Randi: 23:18

and especially a lot of us that live away from our families and stuff like that's very hard.I have some friends who are very fortunate.They have like family and friends nearby and or family and grandparents,like on both sides,and they're just like,We just went on vacation together by ourselves and I'm like,Jess: 23:35

Yeah.Randi: 23:35

I haven't done that in,15years,but,andJess: 23:38

some,and a lot of people who don't have neuro divergent children.It's,as they get older it's easier.When you have a neuro divergent child,somebody on spectrumRandi: 23:46

spectrum.Yeah.Or a special needs child,special needs,leaving them behind is not usually anJess: 23:52

No.They go with you everywhere.And so you're like,ah,okay,fine.Here we go.We're just gonna keep doing our thing.Randi: 23:58

So that's why it is important to find those little pockets of time for yourself and your partner to keep y that relationship healthy.Because there's so many ways that can burn you out.Yeah.Jess: 24:10

One of the trips tick trips,ticks,trips,what is it?Randi: 24:15

Tricks and tips and life packs.Jess: 24:18

There you go.Oh my gosh,that was so hard.Randi: 24:20

hard.Jess: 24:20

We have our child do steps before she can get online.I got her a,Randi: 24:28

little Fitbit.Jess: 24:29

it's like a generic one off Amazon for like25bucks.Yeah.And she has to do a certain amount of steps.In the day before she can jump online,because otherwise,that kid was getting up at five in the morning to start her morning to get online.AndRandi: 24:42

Oh yeah.My,my eight year old will too.He's straight and I'm like,ahJess: 24:46

No.And so I have her do5,000steps,right?Yeah.Because literally you can get that,just go walk the dogs.Now you've got some exercise.Go jump on your trampoline.You've got someRandi: 24:58

and I think that's good.When you establish those,let's call them boundaries,because they are,and they,and rules that they have to be met,then they know what is it is expected of them.And you can go back to that too,if there's an argument or they're pushing against it.Listen,we agreed on this.We decided on this.This is what needs to be done.And so you do have that structure in place so you're not hitting heads over and over again.Because I can find,I find that when my kids are home,like I'm just like,oh,like I said this,like I'm just gonna be like,refer to rule number.Jess: 25:31

That is a very love and logic way of doing a contract.Yeah.But there's nothing wrong with saying,okay,this is how it's gonna look.Get their buy-in.5,000steps.We try to do an hour on,an hour off,right?Fine.After you're5,000steps,do an hour on and then go do an hour off of Legos or Whatever it is that you wanna do.And then you can do an hour on.And that way I don't have a kid who's been online for14hours a day.Because that's just gonna melt her brain.And then I get a cranky kid.And the other thing is making sure have you eaten because man,kids will not eat if they'reRandi: 26:04

Oh no.And I forget to eat too during the day.So it's now I gotta remind my kid,you know,to eat well,I'm better at feeding my kids than I am at feeding myself.But it's also the same thing that goes for us too.Are we getting enough water?Are we getting enough nutrition?Are we getting enough?Protein.And same thing for our kids.My kids are snackers,they like to snack,so I have to make sure like that there's healthy options in the house.So it's just not,just like carbs and sugar because that makes my,neuro divergent,ADHD kid,go woo.Jess: 26:31

It makes me do the same.Yeah.And For that one.I always learned that if we have grapes,wash'em,put'em in a calendar,leave'em on the counter.Those little suckers disappear.If you wash'em and put'em in the fridge,ifRandi: 26:42

I find healthier options.The kids will take them.I always do that,like at birthday parties and stuff too.I always get like a fruit tray and like a vegetable tray and I am always so surprised the kids usually go for it and eat it.Like they will pick that option.It's just like you have to make it like appealing,like in a way too.And we'll do charcuterie boards and stuff too,like for the kids.Yeah.And they'll be like,oh,this is so cool,cuz I have some different options.But they end up,eating it all.Jess: 27:07

Yeah.And it just really putting it out for them.It's so simple that Yeah,the apples are there,but the minute I cut the apple up,the apple gets eaten.I so why I don't know what the issue is,it is setting up some healthier snacks and things so they will eat healthy and they will,and you do too.Because otherwise they all go for the fruit snacks,which really aren't fruit.Randi: 27:27

And,Jess: 27:28

it,it is setting up for success.Exactly.And it is planning.And it is.And if you don't have time to cut the apples,ask your spouse,can you cut theRandi: 27:36

Or by the pre-cut apples,like I have learned.To do.I used to be like,I don't wanna pay the extra for this.I know I can do it.I can cut it up and put in little bags.I can meal plan.No,I'm not gonna do it.Okay,I understand.I'm not that type of person.I'm not gonna do it,so it's okay.I'll be like,I will buy the pre-done snacks so that they have the smaller portions,the easier options they can grab it.Out of the fridge or out of the basket in the pantry and go.And that has helped me being like,okay,and I'm okay paying a little bit more for that snack,and just letting it help me like along the way.Jess: 28:10

Yeah.And that works.It is.It is.Setting stuff up if your kids are gonna be home,right?Setting up some rules and some boundaries.Also,parents,please don't be afraid to.Use the wifi.Like I've got Google wifi,we have set up the family network.Randi: 28:26

Yeah,we have ours.It turns off like at a certain time and my son still melts down every day when it goes off,and I'm like,that's just the way it is.Someday you'll learn.Jess: 28:34

And the thing is that.It takes the power away from you telling them to get off.It's just done.10o'clock.Sorry that it goes off I was in the middle as I,I'm sorry.It's set up that way.I didn't,I can't change it.Yeah.Randi: 28:47

My eight-year-old,he doesn't understand time as much as like some of the older kids,but I'm like,for the older kids,I'm like it's type.Time management that you have to learn that look at the clock and you only have,x amount of time to either finish a show or finish a game or whatever.Jess: 29:01

if I have to hear,I'm almost done with this round.One more time,I might actually just start pulling out my eyebrows.Oh,Randi: 29:08

Oh yeah.No the little one was yelling the other day.I'm in the middle of all this round right now.It's,I can't pause it.I wasJess: 29:15

I'm fighting a boss.I don't even know what that means.Okay.Randi: 29:18

Yeah.You're gonna fight a boss in a minute.Jess: 29:21

Yeah,exactly.Exactly.Randi: 29:23

We're gonna have a showdown right now.Jess: 29:26

But when you set up the time on your wifi,if you set it up and set up all of their stuff on that,you don't ha I don't have that fight anymore.Because she got mad the first couple of times I warned it was coming.Yeah.I warned her and I didn't wanna have to,I was like,I can do this parenting thing.And guess what?It's on there.Randi: 29:43

It's another boundary.It is what it is.Yeah.But then like you said,you've taken it off of yourself and you're like,that's just our rule for the house and this is what it is.So be mad at the wifi being off,butJess: 29:53

yeah,sorry that,that's just,it is what it is.Sorry,not sorry.Yeah.Randi: 29:57

Yeah.And then another important factor too is to seek professional help.If you are recognizing that you are having a really hard time or your kids are having a hard time,Reach out to somebody that you can talk to.Give yourself that safe space.Even if it's just a vent.It's not,don't think it needs to feel like the end of the world.Don't get to the end of your rope before you talk to somebody.Jess: 30:21

And the cool thing is with telehealth now,you can go sit in your closet while your kids are on their iPad out in the living room,and you can talk to your therapist to say,I'm going,bonkers withRandi: 30:32

Do you know how many moms would either get in their car or call me like from their closet and stuff just to talk to me?AndJess: 30:38

I have seen so many closets.I have seen so many cars.As long as you're clothed and you are,it'sRandi: 30:44

like their kids are coming in and they're like,hold on,mom's on a call right now.They're playing a game in the other room and they're like,15more minutes.And it's like sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to take care of yourself.And that is,A Okay.Jess: 30:56

It is ao.Okay,so it is okay to be anxious that school is coming or school is ending and that summer is coming.It is okay to also be excited,right?It is.Is just try to do the best you can.Breathe,stretch.Go hide in your closet if you can.Randi: 31:15

Yeah.Utilize these tips and tricks and strategies to navigate this summer with self-awareness.And hopefully less meltdowns for you and your kid and feeling great during the summer and reducing your anxiety about feelings about having your kids home.And am I good enough?Am I doing enough?And try to maintain.Your boundaries and your consistency.Make that routine so you can rely on it.Everybody can rely on it.Jess said,she made that,the schedule in her pantry.We have one on our fridge,we have a whiteboard on our fridge,like we write itJess: 31:51

Yeah,I have one on my fridgeRandi: 31:52

We're very visual and it's like we can all check in with it and see what's going on and this helps.Communication and your sanity.Jess: 32:01

It does. All right guys. We'll see you next week.

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Summer Strategies Podcast Episode 42: The Women’s Mental Health Podcast

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