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How Weather Affects Your Mood and Negative Self-Talk: Explore the link between weather conditions, mood fluctuations, and self-criticism. 

a women's mental health podcast

How Weather Affects Your Mood and Negative Self-Talk: Explore the link between weather conditions, mood fluctuations, and self-criticism. 

Are you ready to break free from the chains of negative self-talk? In this empowering episode, we explore the impact of negative self-talk on women who are seeking mental health resources and self-care strategies. Join Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, as they share proven techniques such as positive self-talk, cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and journaling to help you reclaim your self-esteem and strengthen your relationships. Whether you're struggling with self-identity or feeling alone, this episode is a must-listen for anyone determined to silence their inner critic and embrace a more positive mindset. Gain practical advice for managing self-defeating thoughts and improving mental health.

Explore the fascinating connection between negative self-talk and success by tuning into a mental health podcast dedicated to women's mental health. Delve into the powerful coping skills and tools that can help you silence negative self-talk and overcome the clutches of your inner critic. By focusing on self-esteem, positive self-talk, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioral therapy, you can effectively manage the often-paralyzing impact of negative self-talk and perfectionism. Empower yourself and enhance your mental wellness by discovering practical strategies and resources that will guide you on your journey to success through the transformative world of mental health podcasts tailored for women.

Discover invaluable information on emotional eating and its impact on women's mental health by exploring resources that delve into effective coping skills and tools to promote self-love. Learn how to manage weight loss through techniques such as mindful eating and by embracing body positivity. Empower yourself with fitness motivation, self-care practices, and mental health and nutrition insights to overcome eating disorders and achieve a more balanced lifestyle. By focusing on women's mental health and combining weight loss tips with self-love strategies, you'll be better equipped to navigate your journey towards a healthier, more confident you.

Questions We Talk About in This and Upcoming Episodes:

  1. What is “negative self-talk”?
    Negative self-talk is an internal dialogue that can be critical, judgmental, and self-defeating. It is a common phenomenon that can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
  2. What are the effects of negative self-talk on mental health?
    Negative self-talk can have a profound impact on mental health. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.
  3. How can I identify negative self-talk patterns?
    You can identify negative self-talk patterns by paying attention to your inner dialogue. If you hear self-critical or self-defeating thoughts, it's likely that you are engaging in negative self-talk.
  4. What are some common triggers for negative self-talk?
    Some common triggers for negative self-talk include stress, criticism from others, feelings of failure or inadequacy, and past traumas.
  5. How can I stop negative self-talk?
    You can stop negative self-talk by becoming aware of your thoughts, challenging negative beliefs, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional help if needed.
  6. What are some effective coping strategies for negative self-talk?
    Coping strategies for negative self-talk include mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive affirmations, and self-care practices.
  7. Can negative self-talk be caused by a mental health condition?
    Yes, negative self-talk can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as depression, anxiety, or borderline personality disorder.
  8. Is it possible to turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk?
    Yes, it is possible to turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk by challenging negative beliefs and replacing them with positive affirmations.
  9. How can negative self-talk affect relationships?
    Negative self-talk can affect relationships by leading to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and insecurity. It can also lead to a lack of trust and intimacy.
  10. Why is it important to address negative self-talk?
    It is important to address negative self-talk, as it can have a profound impact on mental health and overall well-being. By addressing negative self-talk, individuals can improve their self-esteem, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve their relationships with others.
  • #WeightJourney #DepressionSupport #WeatherAndMood #SelfCriticism #MentalHealthMatters #OvercomingDepression #MindfulnessPractice #PositiveSelfTalk

Transcript How Weather Affects Your Mood and Negative Self-Talk

[00:00:00] Randi: 1, 2, 3, 4. Hi friends. It's Randy and Jess, and we're gonna cut the

[00:00:07] Jess: bullshit and let's get into women's mental health.

[00:00:13] Randi: Welcome to the podcast Unapologetically All Over the place with Randy and Jess, two licensed psychotherapists where we talk about mental health, wellbeing, and strategies for coping with life's challenges and how it's. All freaking normal.

[00:00:26] Jess: All normal. Today's podcast, we're gonna talk about the weather and how it affects us.

Yes. Right? It reminds me of that Natalie merchant song from years ago about the weather. I'm probably aged myself, but what song is that? Oh my god. You don't know, like 10,000 maniacs. Right? So Natalie Merchant, oh, and she sings about the weather, and it starts off, the color of the sky is gray as far as I can see up.

Speaking of which, okay, so the color of the skies far as I can see is cold, gray, lift my head from the pillow and then fall again with the shiver in my bones. Just thinking about the weather E quiver in my lips as if I might cry. Hmm. So let's do the, have you ever thought, and then we're gonna kind of talk about what prompted this podcast today.

Okay. Have you ever thought.

[00:01:15] Randi: Oh my God. If it's gray, one more day I'm going to scream.

[00:01:20] Jess: I think I've gained five pounds and I'm, I, I'm, I'm tripping out. Yeah. Why do

[00:01:25] Randi: I feel so fat today?

[00:01:27] Jess: Oh my God. I feel like I haven't done anything in months.

[00:01:31] Randi: Yeah. Like why am I so worthless right now?

[00:01:34] Jess: Why do I feel so sad and, and just blah.

[00:01:38] Randi: Yeah. Just so many things like that and sometimes I think, why am I talking to myself so meanly,

[00:01:45] Jess: she does for so mean to ourselves.

[00:01:47] Randi: I know we are. And it's like so hard to stop it once you get on that kind of roller coaster and that thought process.

[00:01:54] Jess: So we were talking earlier, uh, I start, we started off talking about, and I just said, you know, ugh, I, I worked so hard to lose all of this weight that all of a sudden I've lost 95 pounds over the last year, and I've put back maybe five to eight pounds on.

And I'm kind of flipping out and I don't know why, like what has changed? What have I done? Oh my gosh. And

[00:02:16] Randi: reality, your weight fluctuates between about that and 10 pounds with water weight. But like we're being so hard on

[00:02:24] Jess: ourselves. So I walk in with Randy and I'm like, Ugh, nothing fits. Oh my gosh. It's all going right to my stomach and I'm flipping out.

And then Randy says,

[00:02:35] Randi: I was like, I've gained weight too, and I've also been freaking out. And we're like, oh my God. Like, sorry you're feeling this way, but I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. And Jess was like, we should talk about this because everybody else is probably feeling like, oh my God, like I'm feeling so blah right now.

And I'm like, So over myself and I'm saying all these things to myself and why is this happening? And she even said like, her mom called her and was like, I've, I get 10 pounds. And we're like, what is happening? Like, so

[00:03:04] Jess: I don't know where everybody else is living right now, but for us it's like we are still in this perpetual winter still.

For whatever reason, spring came and didn't come to where we live. Like right, we got, it's this cold and dreary. Still, and like it was snowing at the end of April, still, we were getting like snow flurry still, which is

[00:03:24] Randi: bizarre. It, it feels like we're living in like, you know, perpetual winter. Like Game of Thrones.

Like Yes, yes. Like we're like ice Princess or something, like stuck here. Princesses.

[00:03:34] Jess: Princesses. Right. And we had like two days where it was nice and sunny. Right. Oh. And it like, felt

[00:03:40] Randi: like heaven,

[00:03:41] Jess: like it was, but it was hot. It went from like, you know, 40 to 90. Yeah. Like that.

[00:03:47] Randi: Yeah, so it's like super high, super lows and like that really does affect, I feel like your physical wellbeing and your emotional wellbeing and stuff.

And it does affect too, like Jess and I were also saying like, we've been having a hard time sleeping lately and not sleeping enough. And I feel like it affects your circadian rhythm, you know, as

[00:04:08] Jess: well. It, it does. And, and so with us, it gets light now until 10, but it's kind of like, it's not really like a.

Fun light, you know, and I remember this time last year we were out at 10 o'clock on like a Tuesday night playing soccer in the front yard. And so I, it's just, it feels like this winter we're gonna miss all of spring. Mm-hmm. Right. And we're just gonna go into straight summer hot

[00:04:32] Randi: straight to hot, hot SaaS.

I'm gonna go straight from bitching about it being cold, cold, cold, dering gray to bitching about sweating my butt off. So there's gonna be no in

[00:04:44] Jess: between. No, no in between. And it does af. Affect us, right? The, the cold weather affects us. I have so many people that I work with that are just like, uh, and everyone's feeling kind of blah.

Yeah, it

[00:04:57] Randi: totally affects your mood, I think too, like you stay home more, you're not as social, you're not getting that support, right? Um, you kind of feel like, almost like you're hibernating like in a way. And you can sometimes cut yourself off, you know, from people and things like that when your mood is affect.

Did like that. And also when you're not feeling good about yourself or you feel like you've gained weight, you're not feeling good, you feel like you don't look good, like you don't wanna put yourself out there so it can cause like this whole kind of cyclical thing happening.

[00:05:25] Jess: You know? That is so funny you said that.

I caught myself the other day. I was at Home Depot, right? Like, like literally in, I've gained maybe eight pounds since January, right? Mm-hmm. I saw a picture of myself from January that today, actually, I was thinking about it today. And I'm like, oh wow, I look good there. Like I've lost a lot of weight.

Mm-hmm. I've worked really hard, but because I've gained a few pounds, I don't feel as good. Which is a real complete mind fuck. Right.

[00:05:50] Randi: But I especially cuz you're like, wait, I've lost so much weight and now why am I, I'm ripping off of like six pounds. Right? Why am I freaking out about this?

[00:05:58] Jess: But I am, I was freaking out about it and the other day when I was at Home Depot, right.

I normally, I've been out talking and bubbly and like, I've just noticed with the weight loss and just feeling good and energetic, that like I talked to everybody. Anybody. Mm-hmm. Right. The other day at Home Depot, I was like, oh, oh, I don't, no, no, no. I just don't look

[00:06:18] Randi: anybody in the eye. I'm not gonna engage anybody.

Don't

[00:06:21] Jess: make eye contact, don't

[00:06:22] Randi: engage anybody. And that probably affected your mood too, right? Because then you weren't all, you were. Again, cutting yourself off from normal social interactions that you would have.

[00:06:31] Jess: Right. And when I got in the car, I was like, what the hell was that all about? Like, what was I doing?

Yeah. It was Home Depot, please. I've gone to Home Depot and like paint covered clothes and still been like, check me out. Right, right. I was not feeling good about myself and I think it has to do with not just, I mean, it's like this whole chicken or egg thing, right, Randy? Right. I, I feel like. I'm not out walking because it's been yucky.

Right. Which means I maybe have gained a little bit of weight. Mm-hmm. Not a big deal. If I got out walking again, I'd be fine. Or like out riding my bike. Yeah. Like I put air in the tires. We're ready. But the weather

[00:07:09] Randi: is not right. And so you kind of get in like this, yo-yo. And sometimes you can talk yourself out of doing things too.

Yeah. That you still might be able to go for a walk, you know? But you're like, I won't be as comfortable. I wanna enjoy it as much. But it's like, you, you're like, I should be doing it. But you know, in, like you said, like it just like affects everything and then you're like, uh, and then you're like, uh, again.

And then you're like, oh my God. And then

[00:07:34] Jess: that's gonna be our new soundbite, just so you know. That is gonna be our soundbite that I'm gonna get. Yeah, it, it almost feels like a depression in a way, right? It does. Like it just feels like a blah depression.

[00:07:46] Randi: Well, and also I think too, when we're gearing up, Tur first spring, and we're thinking about summer and vacations and stuff too.

A lot of times too, we put a lot of unnecessary stress too on ourselves. Like thinking like, we're gonna go on a vacation, we're gonna be wearing bathing suits, we're gonna be wearing, you know, shorts. Like I'm gonna be showing my body maybe a little bit more like, and those things I think can also like wreak havoc like on like our mind and how we talk.

To ourselves. Cuz I know like, I'm like, oh, my shorts are kind of tight, you know? And then I'm like, she did, she was like, yeah,

[00:08:17] Jess: it might just short the weight. Couldn't go back to my boobs. No,

[00:08:20] Randi: no. Right. No, it couldn't go to my boobs or my butt had to go straight to my stomach. Yeah. You know, because I'm over 40, so, you know.

Yay for that.

[00:08:28] Jess: And you know, I was actually, when you just said that, I was just thinking the other theme that's coming up is that school is out in four weeks. Mm-hmm. You know, three, four weeks.

[00:08:36] Randi: Normally my kids are over it too. Like, everybody's like on the train, the hot mess train, like ready to crash into a wall.

Right. Can I stay home? Can

[00:08:44] Jess: I stay home? Mm-hmm. Can I stay home? Do I have

[00:08:46] Randi: to go, oh, from my teenager to the eight year old, I'm just like, oh gosh.

[00:08:52] Jess: But normally we have some time to preface like, Hey, it's spring. We should start thinking about summer. Right? We haven't had that and I feel like it's gonna. Slap us in the face like, oh fuck, our kids are home all

[00:09:02] Randi: week.

Right? There's no like transition where we kind of look like naturally kind of progress into this warmer weather, sunny or weather getting ready for like school break. It's kind of like winter, winter, winter. And then we're gonna be like, like you said, hit over the head with summer and kind of like, oh shit.

We didn't prepare for that. So that's why we're kind of talking about this. Like we need to do kind of like a check-in. We were checking in with each other and we were like, well, what about like all of our listeners and friends and stuff? Like they're, they're probably. Thinking this too,

[00:09:28] Jess: because I think this has just been a really long winter.

And so part of it is, so, like I said, last week I went through, I put air in my tires, so I'm gonna make sure we get out for like a 20 minute bike ride this weekend. Mm-hmm. As long as it's not raining like it is right now, I'll make sure we do that right. And I'm gonna make us. Kind of start going out and, and hold myself accountable because I'm responsible for another human.

Right. Yeah. And, and she's kind of feeling like

[00:09:54] Randi: I am. Right. And so I've noticed that too with my teenage daughter. I was kind of like, Hey, like I noticed your mood. I was kind of off, you know, too, like, what's going on? Like, I've been trying to take them out to do a little bit more kind of, you know, family, like little like excursions and stuff.

Mm-hmm. So we can. Are kind of breaking up the monotony of like being, you know, home like all winter and, you know, starting to plan like some trips and stuff for us to have like things to like look forward to. Yeah. But then also like with traveling, especially like as like a mom or like a wife comes like the stress of traveling and planning it all.

Listen. Into our episode on kin keeping cuz sometimes we take on way too much. What? Like as women and don't like balance it all. Like I tell, you know, like my partner, like you're packing your own bag, you're on your own. If you don't have clothes that's on you. Like, cuz I gotta pack everybody else and myself.

So you know, you're up buddy.

[00:10:47] Jess: So everybody in California will get this right when you're driving down five and there's like that big mall before the grapevine. Mm-hmm. Um, I'll explain in two seconds. Right. You always wonder like, who shops there? Yeah. I'll tell you who shops. There it's us because my husband forgot all of his business shirts once, so we're driving down, it's like this, you know, it connects north, uh, northern, northern and southern California.

It's kind of in the middle of nowhere. Before you go over this like big mountain range. There's a big outlet mall center in the middle of nowhere, right? Yeah. And I was like, who goes here to shop? Well, guess what? We're driving down one day. A lot of people apparently, and he goes, Because we were going to a business conference, and then after that we were going to um, uh, the beach.

Well, he just packed for the beach. He was like, oh, crap, that's it. He goes, I forgot business tops. I was like, wait, what? How do you, we're going to a business convention. He goes, yeah, I have our t-shirts. So I was like, fine. Gosh, we'll stop here. I'm not stopping in la. I'm not doing that. No,

[00:11:44] Randi: no, we're not doing that.

I'm not doing

[00:11:46] Jess: la. We'll go to the grapevine. We'll shop. I took 'em to the most expensive store I could find because I know it drives him crazy. And I'm like, this is on you. This is on you. We're gonna buy like three shirts and you're gonna wear 'em all week. Yeah, because there you go. And we did. And I was like, well, if you ever wanna know who shops at the grapevine, it was us.

Yeah. So, so let's go back to, why do you think. Like I, I guess I, are we beating ourselves up so much over a few pounds? Right? Because you were talking about how, you know, originally your goal, cause you've lost, what, 180 pounds or

[00:12:19] Randi: something? 160 pounds? Yeah. Okay. And my goal was originally to lose about 80 pounds.

So I lost double what my goal was. Mm-hmm. And losing this much. I had very bad body dysmorphia and I thought I am way too thin. And I had a really hard time struggling with that because I had been plus size most of my young. Life and adulthood cuz I had this surgery when I was 40 and so it feels like you lose part of who you were being plus size.

And Kirby I felt, was like part of who I was. And then I felt like, oh, gross. Like looking at myself too. Losing weight cuz I did this for my health. Explain.

[00:13:03] Jess: Oh, gross. Losing weight. Oh, gross weight, gross. You thought you were too skinny? I thought

[00:13:05] Randi: I was too skinny. Okay. I was like, explain that cuz that, and I just felt like I didn't know who I was when I looked in the mirror.

And so, Understanding that I was still the same person and learning to love this body, you know? And what it had done for me and love that I was doing this for my health. Yeah. And not looking at it from like a vanity perspective, like I really had to have that conversation and stuff with me. And then finally, like I've gotten comfortable where I'm at with my weight loss.

It's been two years now. Well, it took me a year to lose all the weight and it's been a year that I've kept it off. So it's been two year process. And then like I gain, you know, a few pounds and I'm like, which I was trying to do anyways, but then I do it and I'm like, Oh my God. Like, what did I do? And like, why is it all going in my stomach and why?

And then tearing myself a down again, and I was like, wait, wait, wait. I, I don't wanna, it's valid that I'm feeling this way, and it's okay that I'm feeling this way, but I don't want to negate all the work I've done. Mm-hmm. And all the hard work I did to lose 160 pounds, it's just like, I'm just like brushing that off and pushing it off the table and like acting like it never happens, but it feels like

[00:14:15] Jess: such a slippery slope, like it does.

Oh, oh my God, I'm gonna, you know, gain another 40 pound by the end of summer at the rate I'm going. Right. I, I'm

[00:14:22] Randi: going downhill. It's irrational fear that we have as women around our weight and our body image. Mm-hmm. And I was telling Jess, because her and I have been considered. Overweight and obese. Obese plus.

Plus size. Plus size. Um, and lived that side and had people comment to us now not knowing that we were plus size before, or knowing or knowing and still making commentary about our bodies. Mm-hmm. And like how we were like, so they, people say stuff offhandedly, wow, you look

[00:14:55] Jess: so good. You've lost so much weight.

Oh my God, look how great you look. Right?

[00:14:59] Randi: Like, did I look that bad

[00:15:00] Jess: before? Well, and then I'm like, well, what if I lost another 20 pounds? Are you gonna tell me I look good now, better then? Right? And so it's such a com bizarre thing when you do lose the weight, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like even now, we have a friend, a mutual friend, Randy and I do that.

She's lost weight. And I was like, girl, you look young. And I couldn't, I didn't realize she had lost weight, but I was like, you look younger. She's like, well, I don't have any makeup on cuz I did this. And I'm like, ah, okay. No, you look younger. She's like, well, you know, I colored my hair too. I was like, okay, you lightened your hair, you don't have makeup on.

She goes, and I got a self tan. And I said, okay. I was like, you look younger. And I said, okay, can I say it? And she goes, yeah. I go, have you lost weight? She goes, oh yeah, that too. Mm-hmm. I've lost, you know, another 20 pounds, so it's a total of 50. I'm like, you look really young. Yeah. I mean, and I was like, it's a compliment.

Am I allowed to say that right? And she's like, yeah, yeah, you can say that. You know, I look good cause I've lost weight. And I said, it's such a weird thing to praise people for

[00:15:52] Randi: that. Right. And I feel like we get so hyper focused on it. Mm-hmm. But we were saying because we've worked so hard to lose weight for health reasons, for me it's scary to think about, you know, like I've had this surgery, I've had this life altering experience.

I've worked so hard, I've put so much effort into it. And for me it's scary to think like I could be shortening my lifespan because I did this, so that I would live longer for my kids. So I feel like I'm putting a lot of pressure on my. Self about that, but like, I also don't wanna create like this stress cycle where there I'm like so hyper-focused on it and create, you know, like an eating disorder for myself or something.

Like you said, it's a slippery slope where you can get like so obsessed with things and it, it, it doesn't really matter your age either too. On the opposite side, my daughter's boyfriend is 17 and he started. Working out so much and eating so super healthy. He developed an eating disorder and we don't talk healthy.

The eating disorder? Yeah. Yeah. Cause he was restricting his calories so much, he lost too

[00:16:55] Jess: much weight. And that's what I mean by healthy. Yeah. He was eating super healthy versus eating, you know? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Probably

[00:17:01] Randi: chips. Yeah, so they like classified it, you know, like as anorexia.

And it's like, we don't talk about those things too, because then we're like, oh, you're being so healthy, or you look so good, or, you know, like that's the thing. Like he was like, oh, I got like an eight pack of abs. It was like, but like he was like way underweight, you know? And so, and then had to be hospitalized.

So it's like those things, like you have to be careful, like on either side, the way that you talk to yourself and the way that you feed your body and what you're feeding into it, like mind and body, you know. And you

[00:17:31] Jess: know, I had a friend years ago who was telling me that when her daughter was little, she was, Randy's like knocking

[00:17:38] Randi: stuff, getting coffee over and everything.

Don't mind me. Right.

[00:17:41] Jess: Uh, she was putting on makeup and her daughter was like, what are you doing? And she's like, oh, I'm, I'm getting pretty. And so then she realized, oh, she saw her daughter, you know, saying, oh, I need makeup to be pretty right. And so she's, I've always been very self-aware of my weight to not talk bad about myself in front of my daughter.

Oh yeah. I've tried so hard. To not talk about weight, that I think it now became a taboo that we don't talk about weight. Mm. And so, like she said, the word fat once and she kind of looked at me and was like, oh, am I allowed to, is that like a bad word? Oh yeah. Because we don't say that word in our eyes.

Right. I'll say shit, but I can't say Yeah. Yeah. Fat. And so, you know, I've done such a good job at not putting myself down in front of her cause I didn't want to carry on the cycle. But I also think I didn't talk about weight and help you and

[00:18:32] Randi: your own vulnerability with it and your insecurity with it and how it's affected you

[00:18:38] Jess: too.

Right. And I don't even know if I've still told her any of that. Right, right. I asked her, I said, are you okay with your body weight? She's like, yeah, I'm perfectly fine. Okay, great. And she's not overweight, she's not underweight. Mm-hmm. She's exactly where she needs to be. Right. But I'm like, how do I check in with her?

And these are comments I get from parents that are our age too. Mm-hmm. That are like, How do I, you know, I've done so well to not body shame that I think I ignored that the rest of the world is still body shaming.

[00:19:05] Randi: Right. And that it's okay if you're feeling that way and to bring it up. You know, I think too, like when my daughter was probably in junior high and she was seeing like a lot of images and stuff on social media, like she started struggling with her body image.

And, but same thing, like I never really like wanted, I was always trying to be like positive about it. Right. And then when she was feeling negative, like about it, like she. Didn't come to me with it like right away because she, you know, didn't want me to feel, I guess, like that burden, you know? Or feel bad.

[00:19:34] Jess: Yeah. Because she's, she's thinner than you, right? Well, I was, or whatever. Right? Yeah. And she doesn't wanna point out something that bothers you or that you work really hard to not make it an issue, even though. It's such an issue that, you know, it's that whole, I won't wanna say elephant in the room, but that's not the right thing.

Well, sorry guys.

[00:19:54] Randi: Well it was, you know, it's, and but don't be sorry though because it's like we were at like a social event once, like a few months ago and some girl was like from the soft and she said something like, Hey heifers. And I was like, yeah, that's not cool to say. And she's like, Well, it's just like something we say in the in, you know, the south or whatever.

And I was like, well, I used to be like 300 pounds. So I'm like, if I was 300 pounds, do you think that you would've said that at this table? She's like, well, I would've never known that you were fat before. And I was like, okay. Well,

[00:20:26] Jess: and at that same event, we had another one come up to us goes, I didn't know that was Randy.

Oh my gosh, she's lost a lot of weight. Do, how did she lose weight? Yeah, I mean she, people wanna know, mean she used to be really big and I was like, um, she's pretty open about it. You, you should probably talk to her. Her, yeah. Because obviously it means you don't know her that well or you don't follow her cuz you know, she's open about it.

But it was just such a weird, she goes, I didn't even recognize her. Oh my gosh, she looks so good and da da da. And there's a lot

of

[00:20:54] Randi: fear about talking about, which is why I've been open about having the surgery and losing the weight because a lot of women have been told like, You've taken an easy way out.

You've done this. Oh God. Or there's like shame, like, so there's like jealousy when you lose weight.

[00:21:09] Jess: Talk about the surgery. You've, you've said it, but you haven't said what it is. So I

[00:21:12] Randi: had gastric bypass, uh, via g gastric sleeve. Okay. Uh, which is, uh, they call it a vertical sleeve. And basically what they do is they go in and they cut out part of your stomach.

Um, and 80%. Yeah, 80%. It's like your stomach is the size of an egg afterwards and you have to relearn how to eat or else you get sick.

[00:21:34] Jess: Um, and I've had the same one. Yeah.

[00:21:36] Randi: And so just had it about like a year after I had my surgery and we've both had really great success with it. Mm-hmm. We've had to do a lot of hard work around our eating habits.

And learning to Reet and our emotional eating

[00:21:51] Jess: it's, and our brain. Yes. The way we see stuff. Like seriously, the first time I saw myself on video after I had lost like 60 pounds, I was like, who is that bitch at my door? Right? What the fuck is she doing? Me? And I was like, oh fuck, that's me. Right? I had no idea that I was looking at myself on the ring cuz I hadn't seen myself and living

[00:22:08] Randi: and really seen it.

Right. And it's. Very different to the way people perceive you after you've lost weight, when you have lived your life as a plus size person. And I noticed how men and women looked at me much more Yeah. After I lost weight. Yes. And it was very hard. And like people approached me much more. People treated me differently the way I moved.

And took up space was different. And the way people feel like they can talk to you about certain things, not knowing that maybe you were plus sized before and have a different perspective on life. It's just very fascinating. As a therapist, yes, to now have been on both sides of the coin, you know to say.

But having lived most of my life, As somebody who was

[00:22:57] Jess: obese. Well, and it's so funny you say that cuz I still have a hard time. Randy makes fun of me too. Right? Like I'll get in pictures with people and I leave so much space between them. Yeah. Or she tries

[00:23:07] Randi: to hide herself and I'm like, you don't need to hide yourself.

No, no, no. This is,

[00:23:10] Jess: this is the space thing. Like I leave so much space cuz I'm not used to being that close. You think you

[00:23:16] Randi: physically, yeah. You physically used to take up that

[00:23:19] Jess: much more space. Or I notice people are in my face more now because I don't have as much weight around me. Mm-hmm. And so people are like, right here.

And I'm like,

[00:23:27] Randi: whoa, I can't wait. Whoa, whoa. You're in my bubble. You're,

[00:23:30] Jess: and I didn't realize that I had, I was literally taking up that much space. Like I was on an airplane a couple of months ago and I was going down the aisle. Go to the bathroom or something. Right on the airplane. Mm-hmm. And these two people who are probably a little thinner than me, my, my size, they didn't move for me.

And I was like, and I just s scooched right by them. You need it.

[00:23:49] Randi: I need more space to get through. Yeah.

[00:23:51] Jess: Normally they would've been like crawling over other people to get outta the way, but they, I just s scooched right by them and it was no big deal. Right? Mm-hmm. And I was like, what an interesting concept.

I mean, it's such an interesting. Screwy thing to, to notice that stuff and not realize it before, like I had no idea what I looked like at like 270 pounds. Right? No idea.

[00:24:15] Randi: I mean, I always, I loved myself, like I would wear whatever. I thought I was cute all the time. I thought I was. Cute too. Yeah. I had no problem dating.

I had no problem being out there. I had friends. It wasn't like, I never understood, like people are like, oh, it's your weight, like holding you back. Like I had a great career. I had a great, you know? Yeah. Like, I was like, no bitch. I love myself. Like, you know me and you know, so it's been weird to see the way people perceive you or become jealous of you too.

When you lose weight, like, because I would never, always existing as plus size was never just learned to live that I was plus size and not really like jealous of like my sisters or that were thinner than me or everybody. Everybody else in my family was thinner than me. My parents were thinner than me, like, so it was like just something I learned how to exist with.

And it was like my sister had made a comment a few months ago, like, well now I'm gonna be the fat one in the pictures. And I was like, How rude I was like, I'm gonna kill you. And I was like, well, now you know what it's like, you know? But I was like, I never really like thought that before because I just always was.

I was always the, or what's that movie, the Duff, the designated ugly fat friend? You know, I would. That's who I was, you know? But I was like cute and always had a boyfriend and they didn't. So I was like, whatever, you know? But I, it's just interesting and I think we can really get in our heads about this no matter if we are, and I've learned now being so, so much thinner that there's also that side where women are.

Ashamed of being thin or they're judged. It's so, they're judged for being like, and so since I'm on social media, a lot of time I say, listen, don't think I'm some skinny bitch coming on here telling you I understand what it's like to wear a three x. I understand what it's like to be a size 20. I understand women's sizing and clothing and how it fits or doesn't.

Fit. Like this isn't coming from a place of like you think like the skinny bitch doesn't know anything. Like that's the thing too, like I would think that too. Like, oh my god, that girl's so skinny, she doesn't know shit. Or she's got it all together cuz she's thin and that's not the case. No,

[00:26:21] Jess: I love that You recently posted a bathing suit that was good on all sizes.

Yes. And, and you did, you posted different pic, different people in the same suit. And I was like, God, that suit does look good on, on everybody. It

[00:26:32] Randi: looked good for every. Body cuz everybody deserves to feel good in a bathing suit. Mm-hmm. And it shouldn't matter. And so I wanted to showcase that because I understand the struggle on both sides.

And it's like now too, I'm like, oh my God, I couldn't find anything in a three x and now I can't find anything in an extra. Small. I was like, dude, I can't win. And like a lot of other women too have approached me too about like, I've been trying to gain weight, I've been too thin my whole life. Like it's a struggle.

Like I'm trying, you know, I can't find stuff like on this. And I'm like, wow. Like I would've never had that understood or had that perspective or,

[00:27:06] Jess: or been like, oh my God, how can that even be and be judgmental about it? Right. Which is what's interesting. And like when we go places, I have no problem talking to people of any size.

Right, right. Like I gravitate towards, you know, whoever feels good. Yes. Right?

[00:27:20] Randi: So why the fuck are we so judgmental sometimes about ourselves, about ourselves, ourselves, ourselves. Yes. You know, when we would never talk that way to like another person like Jess and I are always like, oh my God, you look so good, girl.

Like, you should wear this today. Like, yeah. And then it's like, oh my God, we're like feeling so fat today to like ourselves. And it's like, what? So that's why you gotta check in with yourself. You gotta have a talk with yourself. You gotta hype yourself

[00:27:44] Jess: up too. Talk to your friends as well, because again, I walked in and I was like, Ugh, this thinking that

[00:27:51] Randi: she was alone in

[00:27:52] Jess: this.

And then she said the same thing and I was like, haha, okay, good, thank you. And I'm really sorry

[00:27:57] Randi: friend, but no, but it felt good cuz then we could have this conversation with not only ourselves, but each other and get it out there so that you're not feeling alone when we are kind of dragging and already feeling like down or depressed and struggling with like weather and weight and things like that.

Weather and weight.

[00:28:13] Jess: Weather and weight. There you go. Weather and, and wait. WW right? So. Again, I'm, I'm just gonna make sure I get out and I'm more concerned about like the mental health aspect. Yeah. I wanna get some exercise and start getting a little vitamin D back in.

[00:28:28] Randi: Mm-hmm. Right. Take some vitamin D, get some sunshine.

Just, you know, just tell yourself self, I gotta get out, I gotta move. Got got to move my body. I said I was going to eat like more protein, you know, and make sure I was. Dang on track a little bit, cut out a little bit more sugar, you know, things like that that I can do. So that pick for one.

[00:28:48] Jess: Yeah, pick, pick one thing, thing to change.

Not like all of this, because now that's what

[00:28:52] Randi: we do. And that's sets, we, we talked about that in our Smart Goals podcast. Yes. Good job. You know, like just yes, yay, ren. Things that you can change and give yourself a, a timeframe to do it in. Mm-hmm. And then move on to the next thing so you're not being what overwhelmed.

[00:29:08] Jess: Yeah. So I'm going to, mine is going to be, I'm gonna move a little bit more mm-hmm. Over the next four or five weeks. Yeah. I'm just gonna add in more steps, more walking. I do not wanna count calories. I, I throw out the scale. I don't care about that. Yeah. I don't wanna look at that. I just wanna feel comfortable.

Mm-hmm. So that's what I'm gonna do. Randy, what are you gonna do? What, over the

[00:29:29] Randi: next four to five weeks? So I'm gonna make sure I'm getting enough protein in and I'm gonna, you know, keep track of that. Okay. Yeah,

[00:29:37] Jess: you're doing protein. I'll get more movement. All right guys. I want you guys to think about what one thing you are going to change.

Just one. Not like a big thing. Yeah, one thing. Listen to our smart goals. If you don't know what those

[00:29:49] Randi: are, yeah. Check in with yourself. Then at the end of that feel, if you're good, if you need to readjust and if you're ready to move on for your next goal, and you girls have got this, you're not alone. And

[00:29:59] Jess: hopefully we have some sun soon.

Yeah. All right. Talk to you later. Bye.

[00:30:04] Randi: Thanks for listening and normalizing mental health with us. Don't

[00:30:08] Jess: forget to check out our free resources and favorites on our website, unapologetically randy and jess.com,

[00:30:14] Randi: like and share this episode, and tune in next week.

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Ep 39 Weather and Weight