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Unpacking the Complexities Borderline Personality Disorder: Learning to Cope and Thrive

Unpack the Complexities Borderline Personality Disorder: Learning to Cope and Thrive

Unpacking the Complexities Borderline Personality Disorder: Learning to Cope and Thrive

Unpacking the Complexities Borderline Personality Disorder: Learning to Cope and Thrive

In this episode of Women’s Mental Health Podcast, licensed psychotherapists Randi Owsley and Jessica Bullwinkle Unpack the Complexities of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and its profound impact on women. Join us as we uncover the symptoms, causes, and signs of BPD, explore effective treatment options and therapy techniques, and empower you with invaluable coping skills and self-care strategies. If you're feeling alone, struggling with self-identity, or simply need guidance on thriving with BPD, this episode is your roadmap to reclaiming your mental well-being.

If you're seeking information on borderline personality disorder (BPD) and looking for effective coping skills and tools to manage your symptoms, we've got you covered. We offer a variety of self-help resources to support your journey, including informative articles, self-help books, and online support groups. We delve into various aspects of BPD, such as its impact on relationships and the profound issue of abandonment. Furthermore, we provide valuable guidance on how to help someone with BPD and explore the insights, we also present BPD facts and statistics to enhance understanding and encourage empathy.

In the upcoming episodes of our podcast, we'll be diving into some crucial topics related to borderline personality disorder (BPD). Join us as we explore the complex dynamics of BPD and relationships, shedding light on the challenges faced by individuals with BPD and their loved ones. We'll also tackle the sensitive issue of abandonment and how it intersects with BPD. Additionally, we'll offer guidance on how to provide support to someone with BPD, equipping you with practical strategies and insights. Finally, we'll provide a deep dive into BPD facts and statistics, shedding light on prevalence, diagnosis, and treatment outcomes. Stay tuned for these vital episodes that will broaden your understanding of BPD and empower you with knowledge and empathy.

  1. What is borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects how individuals feel about themselves and others, often leading to unstable relationships and emotional turmoil. Individuals with BPD may experience intense emotions and a shifting sense of self-identity, making it challenging to sustain relationships and manage daily life.

  • What are the common symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: The common symptoms of BPD include unstable relationships, intense emotions, impulsive behaviors, an unstable sense of self-identity, fear of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness, and suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviors.

  • What causes borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: The exact cause of BPD is unknown, but research suggests that it may be due to a combination of environmental, genetic, and biological factors. Trauma and abuse during childhood may also increase the risk of developing BPD.

  • What are the effective treatments for borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: Several treatments are available for BPD, including psychotherapy, medication, and skill-building approaches like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). Treatment plans are tailored to the individual's specific needs and may involve a combination of approaches.

  • What impact does borderline personality disorder (BPD) have on relationships?

Answer: Individuals with BPD may struggle to maintain stable relationships due to difficulties with emotional regulation, fear of abandonment, and distorted self-image. Relationships may be marked by intense emotional highs and lows, leading to conflict and instability.

  • How can family members and friends help someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: Supporting someone with BPD can be challenging, but it's essential to provide a safe and supportive environment. Encouraging the individual to seek professional help, practicing active listening, avoiding language that may trigger or invalidate their emotions, and setting healthy boundaries can be effective strategies.

  • Can medication manage borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

Answer: Medications may be prescribed to manage specific symptoms associated with BPD, such as depression, anxiety, or impulsivity. However, medication alone is not considered an effective treatment for BPD.

  • Is borderline personality disorder (BPD) curable?

Answer: BPD is not curable, but with effective treatment, individuals can learn to manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life. Recovery is possible with the right support and treatment plan.

  • What is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how does it help manage BPD?

Answer: DBT is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on developing skills to manage emotions and cope with stress. It involves a combination of individual therapy, group therapy, and skill-building sessions to teach individuals how to regulate their emotions, tolerate distress, and improve interpersonal relationships.

  1. What are some self-help resources that individuals with BPD can utilize?

Answer: Self-help resources like self-help books, online support groups, and meditation apps can be helpful in managing BPD. Additionally, practicing self-care, setting boundaries, identifying personal triggers, and seeking professional support can be effective strategies for managing BPD.

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Ways to Unwind and Relax

Meditative, Relaxing, Mental Health Coloring books developed by licensed psychotherapists Randi Owsley and Jessica Bullwinkle – Available on Amazon Today!


Unpacking the Complexities Borderline Personality Disorder: Learning to Cope and Thrive

[00:00:00] Randi: 1, 2, 3, 4. Hi friends. It's Randy and Jess, and we're gonna cut the

[00:00:07] Jess: bullshit and let's get into women's mental health.

[00:00:13] Randi: Welcome to the podcast unapologetically All Over the place with Randy and Jess. We're two licensed psychotherapists and we talk about mental health. Wellbeing and strategies for coping with life's up and down challenges and how it's all normal. Yep. And

[00:00:28] Jess: today's podcast, we're gonna go over borderline personality disorder, also known as B P D.

Uh, B P D is a mental health condition that affects about 14 million Americans, or 1, 2, 1 to 2% of the general population. And it's characterized by a wide range of symptoms, which makes it a challenge for those who experience it and those who you know are in relationships with people who have borderline personality disorder.

[00:00:54] Randi: Yeah. And it can be very hard to diagnose and very hard to understand. So we are going to talk about that and you can find more resources on our website. It's linked on our podcast, Okay, so have you ever

[00:01:12] Jess: thought,

[00:01:13] Randi: are people with borderline personality disorder more manipulative? What

[00:01:18] Jess: causes borderline personality disorder

[00:01:19] Randi: D?

What exactly is borderline personality disorder? Why do people

[00:01:24] Jess: with B P D pick

[00:01:24] Randi: fights? How can I support someone with B P D?

[00:01:28] Jess: How can a person be doing so well? And then out of the blue on a downward spiral,

[00:01:34] Randi: are people born with borderline personality disorder?

[00:01:36] Jess: Those are all really, really good

[00:01:38] Randi: questions. Oh, and another one, how can I have a healthy relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder or on the opposite side, like, how can I have a healthy relationship having this diagnosis?


[00:01:51] Jess: Okay. So those are, those are really, those are hard. Yeah. I mean, and this is one of those things. So let's go ex first start off by, what does borderline personality disorder mean? Because the name doesn't fit. I mean, it really doesn't fit

[00:02:05] Randi: anymore. It's like ADHD too. Like the names don't fit. They're so outdated.

I think that they, it does a disservice mm-hmm. To what it is because it's kind of, you know, pigeonholed this like into what people think or what they've seen on TV or how experience with it can be like a very narrow focus when it is really, there's so much to cover with it. I

[00:02:29] Jess: call borderline personality disorder the Scarlet letter of mental health.

It's one of those things that I find that most people, most even therapists, either a, don't know a lot about Right. Or they don't wanna touch it, or they don't wanna touch it. Mm-hmm. Or they don't wanna tell you that's what you have. Right. Or like, I've also had people like, oh, your, your spouse is borderline.

Oh yeah. Um, I'm sorry. That's cute. Oh god. Yeah. And so it gets a lot of negative, you know, just there's stigma

[00:02:57] Randi: with it. Yeah. There's a huge stigma with it, and I think people are very, Fearful of it. Mm-hmm. And you don't need to be if you understand it. And so when I work in a clinic, I ended up having a lot of clients who had it.

So I became very well acquainted with it. Mm-hmm. And I can understand how it can be misdiagnosed. Yeah. Very often too, or it's hard to diagnose because it does take time and you have to really like learn about it. So borderline personality disorder is, A serious mental illness, it centers around the inability to manage your emotions effectively. borderline personality disorder

So like you have really reactive emotions and it's hard to regulate your

[00:03:40] Jess: emotions. Right. And the name came from, um, they used to, they said borderline because it was a it between psychosis and neurosis. And those are big words, so Right.

[00:03:50] Randi: Psychosis and neurosis. Can you break that down for the rest of the population?

[00:03:54] Jess: Um, It's, it's, I don't even know how to break that down. My brain won't do that right now. Sorry. It's like, no, no, but basically it's like the in between kind of being all over the place and like the being really emotional and it just stuck and that's why it's hard to break down cuz one, it doesn't even fit what that means.

[00:04:16] Randi: Yeah. Okay. So psychosis is mental and emotional disruptions, dysregulation. Mm-hmm. And then neurosis is, Coming from like stress to depress like other outside sources. And the other one is kind of like organic genetic. Oh, so it's like both of us? Yeah. One side, one's outside. Yeah. So kind of converging and then like exploding, like all over the place. borderline personality disorder

And there's no regulation kind of like on either side when you have borderline. So it's like how do you manage when. Both halves of yourself are kind of competing, you know? Mm-hmm. In a way, or clashing. And that's why it's characterized by having unstable moods, having unstable behaviors, and a lot of instability in relationships, which is what we've kind of come to know it as like, oh God, you know, like you have like really crazy like attachment styles to people, or like, you're like really insecure around relationships or things like that. borderline personality disorder

Well, and it

[00:05:13] Jess: also, you experience really intense emotions that quickly shift, which is why a lot of times it gets misdiagnosed as like, Bipolar. Mm-hmm. Right. And so they, they're very, uh, sometimes it can come across as very like black and white thinking, right. Real one extreme or the other. And if you're not sure what black and white thinking is, or gray thinking, listen to our episode 36 where we go over, um, black and white thinking.


[00:05:39] Randi: And people with borderline personality disorder often struggle with a sense of identity. Mm-hmm. Like who they are. They'll attach it to somebody else that they're with. They have usually a very strong fear of abandonment. Huge, huge fear. Yeah, huge. Like, huge irrational fear. borderline personality disorder

[00:05:57] Jess: And we're talking like, you know, hanging onto your leg as you're like walking out the door.

Right. But a lot of times what I see is that they'll push, push, push, push. To see if you're gonna leave. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's

[00:06:08] Randi: the, because usually there has been trauma there, of course. Mm-hmm. That has, you know, perpetuated this mental illness. And so there is like that they've probably been abandoned or have some trauma in their background, and so this just, you know, exponentially makes that fear even more

[00:06:26] Jess: irrational.

But when we say irrational, it feels very real.

[00:06:31] Randi: It does. It feels very real. But like if, so, like scientifically, if we were looking at a baseline, for most people who can handle it, it, yours would be like spiking all over the place. But like if you're in the middle of an episode like that, or you're feeling that way, it doesn't feel, it feels normal.

Mm-hmm. And you think it's normal, they're gonna

[00:06:51] Jess: leave. Even though they're like, dude, we're married. We have like five kids, and I'm not going anywhere. No, no. You are going to leave. Yeah, you're leaving me. You're leaving me. Don't go to work. You're leaving borderline personality disorder

[00:06:59] Randi: me. And that's where that black and white thinking comes in.

It's like all or nothing. Like you're like a hundred percent, this is the way it's gonna be. And like, you can't talk yourself out of it, like in that moment. And so there are a lot of also co-occurring, you know, disorders that happen at the same time. So let's go back first

[00:07:17] Jess: real quick. Um. It actually affects a lot more people than we realize.

Mm-hmm. Right. Uh, B p D affects about almost 6% of the adults, which in the US is about 14 million Americans. Right, right. At some point in our lives. Uh, and, and really once you have b p d, it doesn't, I mean, it gets better, but you don't ever not have it. Right, right. It's like, you know, once you're an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic.

Even if you're not drinking, you're just a dry borderline personality disorder

[00:07:43] Randi: alcoholic. Right. And it does, it really does affect your whole life when you have it. And if you don't manage it, 20% of patients that end up in a psychiatric hospital, um, have borderline personality disorder. Mm-hmm. So it can cause. A lot of issues with your mental health if you do not regulate

[00:08:06] Jess: it.

Well, and you know what was interesting is that they're showing that BPD affects 50% more people than Alzheimer's. That's crazy.

[00:08:12] Randi: And we're like huge on talking about Alzheimer's disease finding like cure, cure for it's, it's got a little research. There's all sorts of things, but like we don't have that for borderline personality disorder when it affects so many more people.

And it's like kind of like this disorder. We kind of. Are like scared to talk about or like are like scarlet leg are weird. Pushing it under the rug. Yeah. And we're not normalizing it or trying to understand it more. So really we're gonna go back a little bit to the causes of B P T. Mm-hmm. And like we said, there's usually. borderline personality disorder

Some, a history of trauma, some type of like major life experience. Um, there could be childhood abuse or neglect. Right? And we're

[00:08:54] Jess: talking sexual, physical, mental abuse. Mm-hmm. Um, but also it's really important to say that there isn't always trauma.

[00:09:02] Randi: I really think there's not always a link between that. No.

That there's a possibility of that, but it's not a hundred percent. Well, but there's

[00:09:09] Jess: also. Um, genetics. Mm-hmm. And generational trauma. Yes. And so some people have this because of their genetics. It could be generational trauma. Um, it isn't, it's normally linked to this, but there have been a lot of cases where it is not

[00:09:22] Randi: linked to this. borderline personality disorder

So can you explain a little bit on generational trauma? We should probably do a whole podcast on that because it's something that I'm very passionate about. But just a quick like overview.

[00:09:34] Jess: So let's say great grandma had borderline personality disorder. Mm-hmm. What that means is that with generational trauma, you know, now grandma may not have it, but it could skip a generation and maybe, you know, your parents end up with your mom ends up with, say, some traits of borderline.

Mm-hmm. Right? And so the generational piece is that it, it kind of, you know, passes down through generations. Right. What I've also seen too is that maybe, you know, There was great grandma or grandma who was borderline. And then mom has borderline traits, even though she's not, because we pick up

[00:10:13] Randi: some of these borderline personality disorder traits, right?

So it was like the way she was influenced by the way she was either raised or in that environment. So those, those environmental factors. Of being around somebody Yeah. Who is maybe unregulated with their borderline, you know, personality or didn't know how to manage it, has affected you and you've picked up kind of like borderline personality disorder behaviors and traits and like passed them on.


[00:10:35] Jess: I've had therapists, colleagues be like, I think she's borderline. And I'm like, Hmm. She doesn't meet the criteria, right? Mm-hmm. But she's got some of the traits and then we find out that, oh, it was her mother or her grandmother that was borderline. Right. And so she picked up

[00:10:50] Randi: some of this. Mm-hmm. And so, When you do have a borderline personality disorder and you are officially diagnosed, it means that this is impacting and interfering with your daily life. borderline personality disorder

Mm-hmm. So like your coping skills, your ability to work, your ability to maintain relationships, friendships, all these things, your ability to brush your teeth. Things like this, it impacts it on a major level. So it's not like, just like people are like, oh, I'm borderline, you know, people will like throw that out there.

You know, like kind of like joking. And it's really not a joking matter because when you do have it, it affects every aspect of your life.

[00:11:26] Jess: Yeah. Your working relationship, your school, your family, your. Spouse, your kids. Mm-hmm. It affects everything. So let's talk about some of the, actually, I wanna go back even further for one second.

Did you know that this really wasn't even recognized until about 1980? Yeah, I mean, it was not recognized. I mean, it

[00:11:45] Randi: does make sense because I wanna say mental health is still fairly new on the scene, that we are recognizing it and diagnosing it and talking about it, right? borderline personality disorder

[00:11:57] Jess: Like we talked about P M D D in one of our previous episodes.

That even when I started this, this career, yeah. It wasn't even a thing.

[00:12:05] Randi: It wasn't a thing. And even like h ADHD and stuff too, there's so much research happening about it now that we've never had before and you know, now that we're like doing more brain scans and things like that, like there, we still just have so, such a long way to go with mental health.

And it's just the tip of the iceberg. And we need to understand that and be kind to ourselves too, while we're navigating this. There aren't always like all the resources that we think we should have, you know, because we're on smartphone number 5,024, but like, we still don't, you know, know how to manage mental health.

You know? I'm

[00:12:39] Jess: gonna sidetrack for two seconds. I'm gonna Squirrel. Yeah. So the other night in my book club, we were doing a Zoom with the author Robert Dug. Mm-hmm. Um, he does a lot of different, uh, like. Thrillers and just a bunch of different series. Okay. Really good. And it was so nice, and it was such an amazing conversation with him.

Um, you know, there's like 300 women, right? Mm-hmm. And we're like, he's talking to us about his books and his writing process in that span of an hour. I think he must have mentioned different mental health about three or four times. I mean, he talked about, you know, anxiety. He talked about in this book about, you know, understanding P T S D. borderline personality disorder

I mean, and he was going through it and I was just like, man, I, he just normalized it and talked about it like it was no big

[00:13:23] Randi: deal. And that's nice and not a lot of people do it, and that's why we're here. Mm-hmm. You know, yapping on here, on this podcast, hoping you guys take a listen, because we really want people to know.

Yeah. It, it's every day, it's in every corner. It affects somebody, you know, whether it's this or some other type of diagnosis. It's something that we should not be ignoring any longer or shamed of. Or sh Yeah, or shamed of. We should have it out in the open. So like you don't feel alone in it. Yeah. And it's like with borderline personality disorder.

You have already a fear of abandonment. Yes. And so it's like if you're not talking about that and normalizing that, you're gonna feel so desperately alone in that and like nobody is gonna be there for you and. Nobody wants that.

[00:14:09] Jess: No. And you know, I, I as a, when I was, you know, younger, earlier in my career, I didn't understand it as much, right?

Mm-hmm. It wasn't, there wasn't a lot taught about it, right? No. Because, you know, in school we go through a bunch of stuff. We were, you know, depression is always the one that everybody goes over a lot, right? Right. We went over it, but not as much, you know? And I used to be like, okay, I know they're borderline.

When they, they get mad at me, they slam the door and storm outta my office, right? You're like, Ooh, what the hell is that? Right? Mm-hmm. Over the years, you know, I've, I have several that I work with now that, I mean, I adore them. They are amazing people. Yes. And, and once you can get past, you know, some of the things that.

Therapists think are scary. Mm-hmm. And, and I'll go over that in a second here, but once you get past some of that, they're amazing people that just need some of the reassurance and the tools to live their lives. Yeah. And that's what's really cool. And I think what scares most therapists though, is that like I.

There's all that impulsive and like self-destructive behavior. Right.

[00:15:08] Randi: And the through stigma around it too. I think people, they're afraid if they say like, I think you have borderline, they're gonna melt down and freak out about

[00:15:15] Jess: it. Right. But like some of it is like the substance abuse or the self-harm.

Mm-hmm. You know, suicidal ideations or thought right. And, and a lot of times they're saying, you know, I'm gonna kill myself or I'm gonna, you know, do something. And people freak out when really they just, they have such an intense emotional pain and so much distress that that is just a way for them to not feel that.

Right. Right. It's like redirecting

[00:15:40] Randi: it. And I had found too, with a lot of my clients and stuff that. They had been diagnosed, but it had never been explained to them. Yes. Never told me. So they had no idea. And like what I would do was I would sit down mm-hmm. With, uh, my giant whiteboard and I would break down how it was broken down, how it affected them, where could they see themselves like in these patterns.

And they were like, Oh my God. It was like a light bulb moment. This makes so much sense. And when I broke it down and showed it to them, like in black and white, they weren't fearful of it and they could own it. And then in that ownership, they could take control of those things that were causing them these out of control and spinning and life issues.

They could like tackle them one by one. We could walk through it together. I was like, oh my gosh, this is who I am and that's okay, and let's work on this. It


[00:16:35] Jess: is so amazing. Like the old, the old school thought process was that borderline personality disorder wouldn't live past 25. Right. And that so high risk.

You're you're high risk. They're gonna kill

[00:16:46] Randi: themselves. Or die. Die. Exactly. You're gonna unlive yourselves, whatever you want us say. That's what they say on TikTok on a live Yeah.

[00:16:52] Jess: So much. I like that better than the other one. Okay. Yeah. But right.

[00:16:54] Randi: And the, and nobody wants to touch that. Nobody's like, you need to be on all this crazy medication.

Like, and just, just like so much negativity around it. And it's not, it is not a life sentence. If you can understand it and you have the right support system, yes, you have a good therapist. Yes, you have good fa family and friends around you. You have a good support group. You can understand it like you get on the right, you know, medications.

It doesn't have to be that this is, I've heard parents say too, like, oh my gosh, like my, you know, teenager, like adult, like when it onset sometimes like in your twenties or whatever, or like, you know, in the teens, like they're not gonna live like, you know, this, you know, psychiatric hospital says, and I'm like, no, no, no, no.

[00:17:38] Jess: Yeah, I, no, I have somebody recently. Yeah. Um, she was told a family member who was told that like, You know, the person in her life that was borderline was going to die by 25. And I was like, no. Who says that? I said, that is not what we think anymore. Right. I was like, we have better tools now. And you know, the person who was telling her was older and that's okay.

Right? Huh? But it was an old school therapist. Mm-hmm. Um, and I was like, no, that is, it's not an I sentence. There are ways to support your person, right, right. And there, and

[00:18:10] Randi: you can owe it to yourself too, and have the right too, to ask the person that you're working with and the team and the doctors, like, what is your education on this?

What is your background in this? Do you specialize in it? Can you point me in the direction of somebody that. Does have the experience in this, keeps up with the research on it and can help me with this because like you said, there is, you know, there are some doctors and therapists out there that are still, you know, practicing from a dusty 1970s whatever book, you know, like, sorry, but I'm gonna be honest out there.

And it's like, only because I've fallen into those pitfalls, you know, before myself. And seeing, you know, having seen clients who have been like diagnosed for like 10 or 15 years and never been told, this is what your diagnosis is, education is power. And as women too, we need that power and we need to know what's happening.

Yeah. I, I.

[00:19:03] Jess: Still am just like, oh my gosh, I cannot believe that some of these people who I've worked with who have B p d, who aren't, didn't know they had it. Right. Until, and even me, I was like, well, you know, this sounds like B P D. And they're like, what is it? And we start talking about it and I'm like, you know, and then they go back to their psychiatrist, they'll, he is like, oh yeah, that's what it is.

And I'm like, Oh

[00:19:25] Randi: yeah. Or that's what I diagnosed and wrote down on your paperwork, but I've never talked to you about it.

[00:19:29] Jess: Right. And you're like, why not? I mean, it's so weird that like this is something I've experienced as a therapist you've experienced as a therapist. Mm-hmm. But we didn't have this conversation.

No. So this is really common across the board that this happens. And I will say that I will work with people who have B p D, but because it is not my specialty, I have them and we'll go into kind of like the treatment for it. But I also have them work with somebody who does like what we call D B T, which is dialectical behavioral

[00:19:58] Randi: therapy.

Mm-hmm. And that's a common treatment for B P D. And that focuses on helping individuals learn to regulate their emotions, tolerate stress better. Like you can go into major, you know, distress and then spin out and help improve, you know, the relationships so they can have healthier relationships and better boundaries.

Mm-hmm. Because it's really hard to maintain. Boundaries when you have borderline personality disorder. And I would have those open conversations with my clients too, because they would wanna kind of be like, you know, as your therapist, like you're my bff. You know, like stars on their eyes. And I was like, no, don't get that way with me.

I was like, I'm human too, you know? And like, this is where we're gonna go with this. Like, and you gotta do the work too. Like, I'm not gonna solve all your problems. Having those important conversations empowers yourself and your clients and stuff to move beyond and take control and, and what

[00:20:54] Jess: I would do is also talk with the spouse.

Mm-hmm. And explain it right. And be like, this is what happens. And when you do this behavior. What it does is it triggers this person to do this. Yes. Yes. And so what this person really needs is for, you know, and, and we kind of work through it.

[00:21:13] Randi: Mm-hmm. Or bringing in the family or things, or like a sibling, whoever it is that you know, their person.

Yeah. Their person that they're in with. So everybody can get on board to help manage, you know, the emotions and the distress or like triggers and the stuff like that.

[00:21:29] Jess: Well, and then, you know, even if I have clients that tell me about it, and I'm like, okay, so your, your partner sounds like they're borderline personality disorder.

Mm-hmm. You know, you really need to read some of these books. Yes. Right. And I'm not like, oh, you should, you, you know, oh, ditch 'em you, they're never gonna get better. No, no, no. But you need to read these books to see kind of what is going on. And then do therapy with them because this is hard stuff and they're, you know, normally they're very creative.

They're very bright, just like adhd, right? It's that whole neuro divergent brain. That, you know, we're just on a different path,

[00:22:03] Randi: but it's, you just have different insecurities and different thought patterns and different way you, it's attachment styles. Yeah, different attachment styles, which we'll talk about in an upcoming podcast too, because there's so many different, you know, attachment styles and, you know, trusting people and things like that is really hard too, when you have borderline, you know, personality disorder and so, Learning, giving yourself those extra coping mechanisms mm-hmm.

Is so important. And it can be treated successfully. You can have a successful. Long life with

[00:22:38] Jess: B p D. Yeah. And you can have a successful relationship, marriage, um, friendship with somebody who has B p D.

[00:22:46] Randi: Right? So what type of medications too are usually prescribed with borderline personality

[00:22:52] Jess: disorder? Um, normally these are gonna be medications that address like the depression or the anxiety or the impulsivity.

Okay. Right. So we're looking at like SSRIs, um, SNRIs. I always get that one mixed up, right? Yeah. Um, but we're looking for basically antidepressants. Okay. Yeah.

[00:23:08] Randi: Or sometimes mood stabilizing stabilizers like lithium. Um, an anti-psychotic identify. Yeah. Don't be afraid when people say anti-psychotic, it's. It just is also kind of like helps you like stabilize.

I don't know why they call it that, but anyways, so like,

[00:23:24] Jess: because it's old school and somebody named it like 50

[00:23:26] Randi: years ago, right? So like quinine and things like that. But it all depends on your symptoms and needs and your doctor who's and your doctoring. So you need to have, you know, a good, you know, psychiatrist, a good therapist, and a good you know, physician that can all help you.

Manage your medication, if that's the right course

[00:23:44] Jess: for you. And you should be in a support group, right? Mm-hmm. Um, while you're working through this, be in a support group. You know, D B T is typically done in classes. Yeah. Right. You do D B T classes. Um, and, and D B T is really cool. It's that dialectical behavioral therapy therapy.

Which is underneath here. I'm gonna throw a lot of initials at you, right? Yeah, yeah. Under cognitive behavioral

[00:24:05] Randi: therapy. Yeah. So basically rewiring your thought patterns. Yes. In your brain, which you can do. It's a lot of work, but you

[00:24:12] Jess: can do it. But it's with homework, it's with worksheets, it's with all the good worksheet through.

Oh man. I don't, I just,

[00:24:20] Randi: I can't, I do, I like fill in the blank, but Yeah. It's not, but there's different, you know, ways you can come up with the best way that works for you. Yep. You don't have to be fearful

[00:24:28] Jess: of it. Right. And, and what you wanna do is, you know, it is treatable. And when something your life happens and it triggers you is to acknowledge it to, to be like, okay, that's my b p d.

And if it's not, if it's something that feels unmanageable, you go back to therapy, you get back to your D B T class, right? You go back to what was working for you, you know? And then once you're doing well and you feel like, okay, great, then you can go back as needed, right? And that's really what it is, is that once we can define it, We can la not label it, but, but diagnose it.

Mm-hmm. And really in the stigma of it. Yeah. Then we can start acknowledging it just like I, you know, I teach it and access

[00:25:06] Randi: tools, you know, for it. Yeah. Yeah. Just like

[00:25:08] Jess: we, we normalize our D h D. Right. You know, we normalize our kids'. H d we should normalize this. Like, it's okay. It's not that it's not a big deal, but it's also not the scarlet letter that, you know, psychiatry kind of treats it as

[00:25:22] Randi: Right.

Like you can. Manage it. You can live with it. You can have a healthy relationship on it. Mm-hmm. There is hope out there. We don't want people to feel hopeless with it.

[00:25:35] Jess: Yeah. There really is hope. It is just a matter of getting to the people who can help you. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, that feels, I'm just like, man, that just, just see, and that's the thing.

It has so much amped up that it just feels so heavy. And once we just talk about it, it just feels like, let's normalize this. Just like that author I was talking about the other night, normalizing other mental health. I was like, if we would have everybody do that mm-hmm. In such a nice, loving, calm

[00:26:07] Randi: way.

Right. The more we talk about it, The more we speak out about it, the more we share about our own struggles about it. The less people feel alone and the further we're gonna go with our education on it and finding more resources for it. Yep. And so we thank you guys for listening in with us. Yep. On this journey.

If you have questions, you can always reach out on our website, randy and jess, and we'll

[00:26:30] Jess: see you next time.

[00:26:32] Randi: Thanks for listening and normalizing mental health with us. Don't forget to

[00:26:37] Jess: check out our free resources and favorites on our website, unapologetically randy and

[00:26:42] Randi: like and share this episode and tune in next week.


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